Friday, January 1, 2010
2010
Oh my gosh, it's 2010. What will this year hold? My daughter will turn 16 and want to start driving!!! My son will hit the double digits! Excitement abounds!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
No One Knows the Hurt I Feel Inside
These are just some random thoughts.
These have been the longest 4 months of my life and the road is only going to get longer. I can be happy on the outside but inside I am dying. My mother meant the world to me and the pain I feel in so indescribable. Kevin thinks I should be over it by now, but he just doesn't get it. And until he feels the same pain that I feel, he'll never understand.
I get these memory flashes of my mother lying lifeless in her hospital bed. That image is forever burned into my brain. I see that more than I see her lying in the casket.
I will tell you I am fine, and I'll even feel fine most days, but it's the quiet times that get to me.
I finally had a dream about my mom. I saw her and she looked lovely! She had on a red top with a purple skirt and a white flowing scarf (Which she would never wear normally, or even owned). I told her how pretty she looked and how I knew she didn't hurt anymore. I swear it was her that came to me. My father did the same thing after he died. This year marks the 25th anniversary of my father's death....Oct 15th 1984.
These have been the longest 4 months of my life and the road is only going to get longer. I can be happy on the outside but inside I am dying. My mother meant the world to me and the pain I feel in so indescribable. Kevin thinks I should be over it by now, but he just doesn't get it. And until he feels the same pain that I feel, he'll never understand.
I get these memory flashes of my mother lying lifeless in her hospital bed. That image is forever burned into my brain. I see that more than I see her lying in the casket.
I will tell you I am fine, and I'll even feel fine most days, but it's the quiet times that get to me.
I finally had a dream about my mom. I saw her and she looked lovely! She had on a red top with a purple skirt and a white flowing scarf (Which she would never wear normally, or even owned). I told her how pretty she looked and how I knew she didn't hurt anymore. I swear it was her that came to me. My father did the same thing after he died. This year marks the 25th anniversary of my father's death....Oct 15th 1984.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
My family
My family reunion was held September 6th. We had 90 in attendance, and that wasn't even everyone! It was sad for me (and I'm sure others) not to have Mom there. And yes, there were some tears (mostly mine).
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Just don't feel like writing anymore
I lost my mother on June 1st to an abdominal aneurysm that she knew she had for 2 years and didn't tell anyone or bother to get fixed.
My sister, Barbara, wrote this in an email to everyone -
"she also had been to the doctors just a couple months ago, and the doctor advised her to get the operation--- She "Refused".... We have to try to understand that She wanted it this away... She kept it from us, so that we would not Worry and call her all the time...That operation, at that stage, would have been a risk either way she decided..
Yes, it was a Shock to all that this happened so fast... I am glad in a way that it was, cause if I had to sit there and watch her fade away, it would have been harder... It's just so crazy... We may or may not ever Understand.... WHY?
Just hold on the every Precious Moment and Thought and know that Mom is always with you - In Heart and Soul...
God only knows how much we Love her and Miss her - Mom was our Best Friend as well as our Mother.... We will survive (somehow, someday)"
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Multiple Myeloma
My brother, Dennis, has been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. Here is some info from www.multiplemyeloma.org on his disease.
Multiple myeloma, a cancer of the plasma cell, is an incurable but treatable disease. While a myeloma diagnosis can be overwhelming, it is important to remember that there are several promising new therapies that are helping patients live longer, healthier lives. The estimated frequency of multiple myeloma is 5 to 7 new cases per 100,000 persons per year. Accordingly, in the United States, 19,920 new cases are expected to be diagnosed in 2008. There were more than 56,000 Americans living with multiple myeloma in 2005, the most current date these statistics are available.
Multiple myeloma is the second most prevalent blood cancer after non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. It represents approximately 1% of all cancers in white US residents and 2% of cancers in black residents.
I just ask that you pray for my brother that he will be able to live a long life. He's almost 60 but isn't ready to leave this world yet. He will be able to take a pill to put this cancer into remission.
Multiple myeloma, a cancer of the plasma cell, is an incurable but treatable disease. While a myeloma diagnosis can be overwhelming, it is important to remember that there are several promising new therapies that are helping patients live longer, healthier lives. The estimated frequency of multiple myeloma is 5 to 7 new cases per 100,000 persons per year. Accordingly, in the United States, 19,920 new cases are expected to be diagnosed in 2008. There were more than 56,000 Americans living with multiple myeloma in 2005, the most current date these statistics are available.
Multiple myeloma is the second most prevalent blood cancer after non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. It represents approximately 1% of all cancers in white US residents and 2% of cancers in black residents.
I just ask that you pray for my brother that he will be able to live a long life. He's almost 60 but isn't ready to leave this world yet. He will be able to take a pill to put this cancer into remission.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
I wish I never learned what that word was
[Agnostic - One who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a God. An agnostic does not deny the existence of God and heaven but holds that one cannot know for certain whether or not they exist.]
How can one NOT believe that God made all that exists? How do you think the earth and all that is on it was created? Someone had to do it. It just really saddens me to know that I have friends who are Agnostics and just recently found out that a distant relative is also Agnostic. And the really sad thing is that my friends children are growing up the same way.
They'll never know what it's like to have the love of Jesus and know that there is someone who will always lova and protect them. And that they can live forever in heaven where there is no hurt, no pain, no cancer, no depression, none of the bad stuff we have to deal with everyday. There are so many people who think that just because they live a "good life" that they will go to heaven - well, sorry, it just doesn't work that way.
How can one NOT believe that God made all that exists? How do you think the earth and all that is on it was created? Someone had to do it. It just really saddens me to know that I have friends who are Agnostics and just recently found out that a distant relative is also Agnostic. And the really sad thing is that my friends children are growing up the same way.
They'll never know what it's like to have the love of Jesus and know that there is someone who will always lova and protect them. And that they can live forever in heaven where there is no hurt, no pain, no cancer, no depression, none of the bad stuff we have to deal with everyday. There are so many people who think that just because they live a "good life" that they will go to heaven - well, sorry, it just doesn't work that way.
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