No One Knows the Hurt I Feel Inside

These are just some random thoughts.

These have been the longest 4 months of my life and the road is only going to get longer. I can be happy on the outside but inside I am dying. My mother meant the world to me and the pain I feel in so indescribable. Kevin thinks I should be over it by now, but he just doesn't get it. And until he feels the same pain that I feel, he'll never understand.

I get these memory flashes of my mother lying lifeless in her hospital bed. That image is forever burned into my brain. I see that more than I see her lying in the casket.

I will tell you I am fine, and I'll even feel fine most days, but it's the quiet times that get to me.

I finally had a dream about my mom. I saw her and she looked lovely! She had on a red top with a purple skirt and a white flowing scarf (Which she would never wear normally, or even owned). I told her how pretty she looked and how I knew she didn't hurt anymore. I swear it was her that came to me. My father did the same thing after he died. This year marks the 25th anniversary of my father's death....Oct 15th 1984.